Love Infusing Fear - Therapy (LIFT)

Summary of LIFT Theory

Efficacious child psychotherapy must address health through purposeful integration of all human holistic parts (biological, sociological, psychological, and spiritual), particularly during conflicts and mistakes, with this outcome: “I’m understood and valued” (lovable, good). Effective integration is dependent upon three key skills: 1) acquisition of lovability, a child’s core identity, through specialized parenting skills, 2) mitigation of fear to its core “safety alert only” utility, significantly reducing unnecessary, damaging stress responses, and 3) application of actionable Pure Love skills. These skills must be easily understood and acquired, in-depth, in a short period (eight or fewer sessions), and with permanent, desired results. Love Infusing Fear - Therapy (LIFT) theory and treatment successfully adheres to these requirements, attested through 45 counseling years with 4,000+ clients.

Four key problems limit current and past therapy theory and practice: 1) insufficient inclusion of current, groundbreaking Affective Neurology emotion research, revealing fear, anger, sadness, and happiness as a human’s basic, embodied, first response to stimuli, 2) absence of actionable love skills derived from the spiritual tradition’s primary tenet, Love (evidence-based terms: compassion and empathy),  3) insufficient intervention and acknowledgement of unattended Fear’s primal, mostly unconscious, homeostasis disruption of human holistic parts (biological, sociological, psychological, and spiritual),  and 4) unacknowledged Lovability identity as a human’s primal, potential identity, without any comprehensive parenting skills training program for Lovability identity acquisition. 

LIFT’s distinguishable theory and practice address these four problems:  1) Easy application of Affective Neurology research, 2) easily learned and practiced actionable love skills (measurable and observable) and processes, 3) mitigating Fear to its “safety alert only”  function (both physical and psychological) through infusion of actionable love skills, and 4) easily learned parenting identity (lovability) formation skills leading to a child’s Lovability identity acquisition: first, healthy self-love, followed by ability to attract love, and finally, selfless love of others. LIFT’s seminal, actionable love skill is emotion validation applied as the first responder to every conflict, followed by behavior change intervention. Traditional parenting programs focus only on behavior, frequently resulting in “I’m bad” and separateness. LIFT’s emotion focus replaces these results with “I’m okay” and “I am one with my parents.” Oneness is the ultimate, learned Love experience, the primary root of acquired lovability identity.

LIFT results: Parenting is satisfying, and children acquire deep-seated, sustained contentment along with enduring warm outside relationships, particularly with siblings. All fully-involved participants report a permanent, life-changing experience.


Love Infusing Fear - Therapy (LIFT):  Four Key Distinguishable Points

1.   Four basic emotions occur before or concurrently with cognition (thought) activation.

  • Fear, Love (LIFT substitutes Love for Happiness), Anger, and Sadness originate as a sensate, embodied, first-responder experience (mostly unconscious) to stimuli.

  • Emotions provide primal information (value) and motivational influence (valence and arousal) for thought, belief, and behavior (decision-making) formulation.

  • LIFT conflict resolution skills always start with emotion validation resulting in “I’m okay.”

2.     Fear and Love, a human’s two primary emotions, are optimized by LIFT.

  • Unattended Fear is a major homeostasis disruptor, causing physical, psychological and spiritual dysfunction. All threat is processed as physical.

  • Developed Love (actionable love skills) is a major homeostasis stabilizer, causing optimal physical, psychological, and spiritual functioning.

  • LIFT’s actionable love skills mitigate Fear to its “safety alert signal only” for processing both physical and psychological threat, transforming “I’m bad” to “I'm okay.”

3.     LIFT quantifies Love (good and Oneness) as a human’s primary energy, informative, integrative, and regulatory source.

  • Love is quantified as actionable, measurable, observable, easily learned good and Oneness skills.

  • Lovability identity is a human’s ultimate core identity acquired by parents’ teaching the LIFT identity formulation skills. Love “abilities” are: 1) healthy self-love, 2) to be loved by others, and 3) selfless love toward others.

  • Love-infused conflict is LIFT’s seminal process for lovability identity acquisition, particularly the healthy self love “ability.” The elemental skill (occurring during every conflict) is Emotion Validation by parents, followed by behavior improvement. The traditional behavior focus only resulting in “I’m bad” and “I’m different” is replaced with “I’m okay” and “I am one with my parents.” Oneness is the foundational Lovability experience. Conflict’s daily frequency ensures daily lovability acquisition practice.

4.     LIFT results in unprecedented parent satisfaction and lovability identity acquisition by children.

  • Basic LIFT skills are acquired in three sessions and become habits within eight sessions.

  • Children acquire deep-seated, sustained contentment along with enduring, warm outside relationships, particularly with siblings.

  • Life-changing is the most common LIFT report.

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